So I don't know if you guys have noticed but I haven't been posting and kind of been silent. While I figure I let you know what is going on with me and maybe I can get some kind words to kick me in the ass to get back to work.
So I came from WA state at the bringing of summer of 2019 because I knew the local community college back in CA would be easier to get into the radio program than being in WA and waiting for openings at Evergreen College. I was dating a wonderful young woman who I thought was cable of a long-distance relationship to support what I wanted to do and at the beginning she did...
Well, we have to backtrack here I meet this woman on a dating app in 2016 ( funny I meet my ex-wife on my space... the internet what a place.) anyways we were dating for a while then things happened and she cheated on me and I did the same for revenge but stupid anyways. Well, we tried to fix it and it worked and ended up off and on.
Well back to the summer of 2019 I had just been fired from my job and knew I needed to do what I need and come home not only for school but for my parents and family I haven't seen and my best friend and niece.
Well, fast forward to the virus I have been spiraling into despair since the start cause I had nowhere to go to feel like I mattered and have been stuck in my own head. I try to get and hang out or do doordash but it's not the same.
The film crew I was working with ditched me cause I wouldn't answer their calls yet they refused to check on me to see if I was okay but I guess that shows what kind of friends and business partners they would be.
Then my ex in WA started ignoring me and this was reminiscent of when she cheated on me so I figured and waited for her to tell but she didn't so I decided it was best if I just went and got my stuff from WA.
My best friend and I went because I knew she would keep me calm and from doing anything drastic. When we got their my now EX started with "oh you can't come to get your stuff cause it will raise my anxiety and stuff and I'm not home."
While I finally get her to let me go get my stuff I guess she has a new dude living with who's been dating since like April. So I let my best friend get my stuff cause I didn't even want to deal with this dude.
My thought is why can't people be honest? If you're done be a good person and tell the other person so they can move on.
So all of this stuff has been circling in my head causing me so much self-doubt because I know there are many other things I need to handle still that I am scared of
LIFE LESSONS: Just be fucking honest.
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